An unimaginable life

Extremely vivacious and boisterous, I consider my inexplicable charisma spontaneous. I am an immovable force who has fought wars in the Balkan and Congo. I am an irresistible individual who derive pleasure in scaling walls and crushing massive blocks of ice located in the North Pole. I speak 50 different languages fluently and in my spare time, I just love to eat a sandwich.

Billions of individuals have fallen at the power and strength that I possess. Billions of individuals have noticed my name and personality on the front cover of Times magazine and the Rolling Stone. Billions of people have been associated with me, for I am the head of an underground military organization. Billions of people wish they were me.

Occasionally, I enjoy the cool summer breeze and late night walks on Saturdays. On Sundays I partake in deadly missions, more deadly than the killing of Osama Bin Laden. But I do not suffer from post traumatic disorders. After my missions, I embark on a run to the peak of a mountain on the Alps to have my Zazen. Yes, I do speak Japanese. When I am bored, I build railways more than 100,000 feet, in my swimming pool. Then, I shower.

I invent gadgets before they are invented. I break records before they are considered broken. I create slangs before they are used. I am my own person. But I still hug my mother when I get home.

In the late 90’s, I freed Nelson Mandela from jail although people say he was released. Manchester United tried to recruit me at the age of 8. I declined. Remarkably, I am the subject of major researches and -documentaries  which all led to production of sport drinks. I reincarnate political and religious figures such as Mahatma Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln for a 5 minutes evening discussion. Barack Obama is my brother.

My deft touch and quick thinking while playing soccer made the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi to retire. I was tagged the next big thing in soccer. I possess a 58 inch vertical, but you do not see me bragging about it on a college application. I have defeated great Chinese opponents in games of ping pong. I love the taste of KFC chicken nuggets and Wendy's baconator. I have a .6% body fat.

Winning the Nobel Peace Prize for single-handedly for the killing Moammar Ghadafi was no big deal. Winning Beyonce 6 Grammys awards in one night for writing and choreographing all her songs was okay. Winning a Jiu Jitsu contest in Taiwan and lotto 649 was amazing.  But the game of tic tac toe stands to be my major foe. It is ridiculous.

I have lived with monks for 2 years, wrestled bulls, maintained a 4.2 grade point average, separated siamese twins and danced with Michael Jackson. Next on my resume is to have the experience of attending college.